The Monarchs Baseball Club Website

Monarchs Offence Strikes Again

2008-07-24T07:33:00.003-06:00

By: Simon Chan

For the third week in a row, the Monarch offence steamrolled its way to 23 runs in a convincing victory. This time, it was a 23-10 victory over The Specials, which occurred with Jamie Sabid, Sean Lam, and Ryan Mitchell as game day scratches, forcing a 4 girl infield and the call-up of CF/LF David Bowie from the Monarch farm team.

“It doesn’t matter who we put out there the way we’re hitting,” Monarch LF/R Travis Dingle said. “3 girls, 4 girls, newbies, farm team subs, it just doesn’t matter. If you put a 5 year old in a Monarch jersey, I bet you he’d get a couple of hits.”

“All the hits were falling in,” RF Trevor Moore commented after the game. “Especially for me, it didn’t matter if it was a popup, ground ball, or fly ball, it’s like the ball had eyes tonight. It always found a hole.”

“That’s what she said,” replied 3B Kevin Wong.

Rookies C Lindsey Kurach and minor league call-up Bowie performed well as they contributed to the Monarch hit parade.

“The rust is going away, and I’m starting to feel my way around. I’m getting comfortable using the big stick,” Lindsey said in a post-game interview.

“That’s what she said,” answered Bowie.

The game was marred by some controversial officiating from the other team, including a couple of strikes that were deemed too low by the home plate umpire supplied by The Specials, one of which negated a strikeout.

“I can tell why they call themselves The Specials, because that was some special umpiring,” P Simon Chan said bitterly after the game. “The minimum height of the pitch is 6 feet. If I’m underhanding it to the plate, it’s impossible for it to hit the mat without going over 6 feet unless I’m windmilling it in there. It’s mathematically impossible.”

“He’s Asian, so I wouldn’t question his math. That’s like insulting his honor,” 2B Erin Melanson added.

Another questionable play occurred when The Specials’ first base umpire claimed that 1B Alicia Kurach’s foot came off first base as she went to catch a throw from SS Amanda Sturies, despite another teammate calling the runner out.

“Well then that must be a big rock I felt under my foot,” an infuriated Alicia shot back at the umpire.

“That play was my fault,” Sturies said after the game. “I didn’t throw it at her milk twins, so she had to stretch a little.”

“I don’t understand why Amanda didn’t aim for Alicia’s boobs to begin with. Everybody else shoots there,” noted R/CF Brad Dingle.

In the end, the Monarchs were able to overcome the adversity and cruise to victory after holding The Specials to a couple of scoreless innings while hitting for the 7 run maximum in one of their own.

Like Riding a Bike

2008-07-09T15:10:00.003-06:00

The mighty Monarchs used their offseason to rest, relax, and reload. So when the new summer season started the message was clear, "we are champions, so we don't have to try" encouraged RF Sean Lam in the pre-game huddle. New Monarch captain Jamie "Rhubarb" Sabid lost the season opening coin toss and the Monarchs were sent to the plate as the visiting team. However, the Monarchs were missing several players including Alicia and Lindsay Kurach, Kevin Wong, and Chris Dew. And because the Monarchs were missing both of the Kurach sisters, leaving them with only Amanda Sturies and Erin Melanson, the Monarchs should have been forced to have an automatic out in the batting order; luckily for the Monarchs, the Linaria Mustangs allowed them to forgo the out and simply rotate their ladies through the batting order and play with one less player in the field. A decision that may have cost them in the end.

The Monarchs won their new green and yellow T-shirts on the strength of a solid defence but turned the tide with their red hot batting. And the bats continued to rolls for the Monarchs as defending champions cruised to a 23-10 victory tuesday night. In the first inning the Monarchs recorded 6 runs while batting through the entire order. In the second, three more. However, the Linaria Mustangs were not about to roll over. They Mustangs changed the defensive and moved their RF to rover and strengthed the outfield significantly.

The Monarchs struggled through innings three and four recording zero runs. The Monarchs, despite playing with only nine players and without a rover, played galiantly in the opening three innings allowing the Linaria Mustangs two runs. The defence was anchored with solid defence by a displaced Brad Dingle, playing CF and not his normal R. The Monarch CF made two excellent plays, one was a long fly ball that appeared to be headed over Dingle's head but Brad ranged back and snagged the fly ball and sent it into second base for a double play. Another excellent effort by Dingle was in the third inning when a Mustang batter sent a hard shot into the gap between the two Dingle's. Brad was able to cover enough ground to make a spectacular stretching grab robbing the batter of atleast two bags. After three innings the Monarchs seemed to have a commanding 9-2 lead.

But in the fourth, the Mustangs were able to hold the Monarchs off the board for the second straight inning and the Monarchs collapsed with a terrible defensive half. The Monarchs had their traditional error-filled inning and allowed the maximum seven runs. The outfield was unable to make key plays and the infield was marred by a few overthrown sure outs. The score after four was 9-9. But the Monarchs flexed their champion muscles.

The Monarchs quickly put the fourth inning behind them and struck back with two runs in the top of the fifth. The resurgence was helped by great hitting from Erin Melanson, who ripped two or three balls out of the infield, and Amanda Sturies, who recovered from a rough start at the plate. The ladies got on the bats and were instrumental in keeping innings alive. And the defence rebounded to its championship form. In the final three innings the defence stiffened up. Monarch all-star pitcher Simon Chan rejoined the team and struck out several batters, call-up Trevor Moore caught a rocket that looked like it was heading for Olympus, and Travis Dingle made an exceptional sliding catch to end the game, a catch that redeemed the fielder who had missed a few simple plays.

On offence the Monarchs caught fire. In the final three innings the Monarchs scored one, seven, and six runs respectively. The offence was lead by call-up Robin's, like Madonna, sixth inning home run and big hitting from Jamie Sabid, Trevor Moore, Sean Lam, Simon 'Chanpion' Chan and the Dingle brothers. And if you are keeping score at home, yes, everyone hit very well.

The Monarchs cruised to a 23-10 victory and a 1-0 record on the season. The team closed out a good Linaria Mustang team, a club that finished third overall in the spring, in time to avoid a severe storm and get to Boston Pizza in time to enjoy a cold beer and for Brad Dingle to hide his B.I.S.P.

...Because Monarchs Fly Together!

2008-06-26T09:06:00.003-06:00

"Here it comes" said LF Travis Dingle, "yup, I felt that one" echoed R Brad Dingle. And with those few words the Monarchs were in for a fight; the opponent was the third seeded Friday Nights but also a bad storm had broken in the Clareview area that brought a dangerous combination of hard rain and intense lightning. This clash was a true upset match as both teams came into the final as upset winners in week 1 of the Spring playoffs. The Monarchs eliminated the top seeded Friar's Club while the Friday Nights sent the Linaria Mustangs to the golf course. In the season series, the Friday Nights had beaten the Monarchs with their ability to 'out token Asian' the M's while the team struggled with batting.

After handling the 'Liar's Club', the Monarchs looked forward to the rematch and a chance to redeem themselves en route to the franchises third championship and first back-to-back title. Historically, the Monarchs had won two dodgeball championships in 2007 and 2008.

Well after a truly courageous effort Tuesday night the Monarchs can add their own piece of the history to the Gallo/Monarch legacy.

The Monarchs, after winning the coin toss and answering Chan's "do we want last bats" question, took to the field after a masterful and inspiring speech from Simon Chan. And with that the Monarchs screamed onto the field ready to face the opening challenge from the Friday Nights. The Friday Nights threw a good opening jab at the Monarchs and in traditional fashion the Monarchs bent a little allowing the Friday Nights to score five runs on the Monarchs. The Monarchs have given a little in the early parts of most games this season but normally have had the answer when their turn came around.

The Monarchs never backed down from a little adversity and with the championship on the line the Monarchs weren't about to begin. Facing an opening inning 5-0 deficit, the Monarchs knew that they had to get on the bats. The offence had been on fire in the last few games as the Monarchs have posted big numbers as of late. And in the bottom of the first the Monarchs roared back, like true champions, scoring seven runs of their own and taking a 7-5 lead. The championship was in full swing and both teams seemed determined.

The game was a classic affair with both teams scoring runs back and forth. The Monarchs held onto the lead throughout the game but the Friday Nights came close on several occasions. They just didn't have the answer for the determined M's.

Both teams were closely watching the impending storm roll in, observing its impressive lightning and deafening thunder, while hoping that the storm would avoid the diamond and allow the game to play its course. However, it was not to be. In the top of the third the clouds began to open up and the rain poured down. The teams seemed unconcerned with the rain but the thunder and lightning was growing more severe. The game played on in the rain until the middle of the fifth. With the storm seeming to intensify the teams huddled around the pitchers mount willing to discuss calling the game. However, after the discussion had ended neither team was willing to call the game, therefore, signalling a complete game and sending the Monarchs to victory. The Friday Nights wanted to continue and the Monarchs obliged them, despite members of the team feeling a lot better about going home. And although the game continued many members of the 2008 Champion Monarchs agreed after the game that it probably wasn't the best decision.

The Friday Night capitalized on their second chance and in the top of the sixth hit a three run blast over the head of CF Sean Lam. "Dingle told me to play in" Lam said, "Jamie told me to move the outfield in" was Dingle's rebuttal. However, that was as close as the Friday Nights would get as the Monarchs shut them down in the top of the seventh sending the team to their T-Shirts!

The Monarchs escaped a tough Friday Nights team with a 16-12 victory and their coveted T-Shirt. The Monarchs took the road less travelled to secure their third championship coming back from the fourth place spot to win the league. The fourth seed was secured by the M's in the last game of the season with a win in the second game of their double header.

MVP of the Game - Brad Dingle - Dingle hit a three run home run to break open the game despite still suffering from a dislocated pinkie finger. In a later inning, Dingle caught two fly balls in the outfield that ultimately broke the Friday Nights spirit.

Note: Tuesday's championship game likely marked the last game for Gallo/Monarch family member Simon Chan. Chan was an original member of the franchise and a member of all three championship teams. The Gallo/Monarch family wish the best for Chan in his scholastic studies in Toronto. Chan was the first and last member of Team Gallo/Monarch to wear #65 as the uniform shall be retired following the 2008 summer season.

The parade and T-Shirt reception takes place July 3rd at the Canadian North Brew House. The party begins at 6 although other teams will be collecting shirts as well.

Without further ado...

Monarchs 'Freak' Out on Friar's Club

2008-06-18T09:15:00.006-06:00

Despite a 2-2 record down the stretch and having to face the leagues top seeded team, the Monarchs are heading back to 'the dance'. Despite taking the more arduous road to get there, the Monarchs now have a chance to play for their franchise's third t-shirt and the first Monarch championship. Furthermore, with a victory next week the Gallo/Monarch franchise will be back to back champions in 2008. The last time the Monarchs got to the finals they were outdone by their opposing team, who will forever be remembered in the history books for fielding the 'biggest. douche bag. ever!'

The Monarchs secured a birth into the Championship with a decisive 22-17 victory over the 6-1 Friar's Club last night at Elizabeth Seton field. Many members of the Monarchs believed the game would ultimately get cancelled due to excessive bad weather around Edmonton last night, however, the storm passed and blue skies held for the duration of the game. "I didn't want to play in lightning," an adamant Alicia Kurach said, "that's just stupid, I mean I'm okay with rain". The Monarchs still showed up ten strong after calling up Laura Reed from the farm system. Missing from the Monarch line-up were regulars Fran Hughston, Russell Loga, Kevin Wong, and Amanda Sturies. As the teams arrived at the field the skies cleared and the stage was set for the ESSC 1 vs 4 playoff game.

Missing a few players themselves the Friar's Club elected to take first bats in order to field a full defensive team in the bottom of the inning as only eight players were accounted for prior to the game starting, however, as the Monarchs were running onto the field the missing players arrived but it was too late to flip a coin giving the Monarchs the advantage they were looking for.

The first inning was marred by a traditional slow start by the Monarchs, "I noticed I don't really feel that great until I get going a little, takes a few innings I guess" said rover Brad Dingle. The Friar's Club dropped six on the Monarchs in the first inning, but the team was optimistic that it was their night. "Way to hold them to six Monarchs! It's not seven" one Monarch said as the team left the field. The Monarchs would be okay though as the offence was lifted to new heights with the addition of the Miken Freak. "They didn't even have a chance now that we have THE bat!" said SS Jamie Sabid as the team took turns kissing the bat after the game.

The Monarch offence that had underachieved at certain times this season exploded in the playoffs with many batters now electing to use the new 27 oz. messiah. Patience at the plate was also a key contributor to the Monarch offence. In the bottom of the first inning the Monarchs rallied to the limit seven runs and a 7-6 lead. The Friar's Club was not going to give up though, not that they ever really had a chance.

The Friar Club was able to score some runs throughout the game but the Monarchs defence came into typical form. The Friar's Club hit some hole and the Monarch defence made its typical errors, but was there when they really needed it. "Bend but don't break, typical cliche." offered DJ Robinson. Their were several key defensive plays to the Monarchs but the two highlight reel moments came on spectacular efforts by Robinson and Brad Dingle. With runners on base and the Monarchs in need of one out to end the inning, the Friar's Club batter ripped a shot that appeared to be going over 2B DJ Robinson's glove, but the second baseman was not going to be denied. Despite having a 'difficult' evening with a couple shallow outfield fly's, Robinson jumped to snag the ball, surely robbing the Friar's Club of a run or two. The other defensive highlight was another line drive but this time headed for SS Jamie Sabid. As Sabid went to play the ball, he missed the catch but did manage to tip the ball into the air. Believing that this would be a hit, the Friar's Club baserunner headed for third, alas Brad Dingle was in perfect position to make the catch and sent the ball to second base for the double play. The Monarchs were able to hold the Friar's Club to a few runs here and there but was able to shut them down when needed.

The offence of the Monarchs was another story. Sparked by the new Miken Freak bat, the Monarchs hit 5 hr's while batting around the Friar's Club defence. The team was equally astute when it came to plate discipline, recording copious amount of walks throughout the game. Team walk-master Jamie Sabid, known for always waiting for the first strike before even thinking about hitting, lead the walk parade. "That pitcher was struggling," said Sabid "and since I was batting in front of Melanson a walk was a double for me." The Monarchs had little problem producing runs as everyone got into the act of running the bases, Chris Dew and Travis Dingle each homered twice and DJ Robinson got one; Simon Chan almost had a HR but the play was officially a triple with an error. "It was a fielding error not a throwing error," a concussed Chan was overheard telling the team, correcting Travis Dingle's assessment of the situation. On the play as Chan rounded second he was surprised by the third baseman standing in his path, "I was going to say something but I didn't," recalls Chan. The positioning caused Chan to slow down a step, a step that would be costly in the long run. As Chan approached home the relay throw came in from second but the catcher was unable to control the missile causing it to ricochet and hit Chan in the head. He would be okay but the incident cause a scare for a moment.

The argument could be made that the ball to the head straightened Chan up as he returned to the mount to strike out several Friar's Club batters. When asked to recall Chan's pitching CF Sean Lam could only find one word, "GODZIRRAH!" Clearly Stella had gotten her grove back.

The Monarchs played a exceptional game on Tuesday night as everyone had gotten into the action and had a chance to contribute. The team was patient at the plate, lead by a team high 3 walk performance by Laura Reed, ran the bases aggressively, and was able to come up with the big plays when they were most needed.

Next week the Monarchs will face off against the winner of the Linaria Mustangs vs the Friday Nights at Elizabeth Seton. Gametime is 7:00pm. It is only a matter of time...

"I hope the shirts are red," commented birthday girl Erin Melanson "that way I'll have something to wear for Dodgeball"

Epic Defence, Late Heroics! Character Win for the Mighty M's!

2008-05-28T12:39:00.003-06:00

In a rare occurrence, the Monarchs headed into last nights game against the second place Linaria Mustangs in fourth place. However, the Monarchs had not found themselves in such a position due to their 2-1 record, the culprit of the Monarchs standings was a lost spirit point to the TRIP OUTS one week earlier. The team was shocked upon learning of the lost point, "I am going to write a strongly worded letter to the league, we even dog-sat for them!" an outraged Amanda Sturies commented. The TRIP OUTS did receive a spirit point from the Monarchs despite begin late for the game, playing one girl short for a majority of the game, altering their line-up in order to bat more guys, and having the Monarchs dog-sit during one inning.

The Monarchs were looking to put the lost spirit point behind them and begin with a fresh start. The lost spirit point and their one loss have accumulated to 3 points in the standings, with another loss the Monarchs could find themselves in danger. The Monarchs have to remain in the top 4 in order to reach the top playoff bracket and have a chance to play for the coveted 'T-Shirt'. "We should just tank it into fourth place so we can play the top team first, really send a message to the league when we win" Sean Lam said at post-game beers. And Tuesday night the Monarchs began the game as though the Lam had already told them this information. The Monarchs took first bats in the game and managed to bring one run across home plate. A modest start for the offence who has struggled to just 33 runs over three games. But the normally solid defence was no where to be found in the bottom half of the inning. "Practice inning" Fran Hughston exclaimed as she tried to rally the team from a terrible 7 run inning.

The defence was poor in the first inning with the team committing several crucial fielding errors. Amanda Sturies in an attempt to assist on an out at second base threw both the ball and he glove toward 2B Jamie Sabid. "Fundamentally poor, I wasn't happy for most of the game" P Simon Chan commented. But the Monarchs weren't about to let a bad first inning stop their run to the playoffs. The Monarchs rallied back with seven runs of their own in the top of the second. The Mustangs pitcher threw a plethora of pitches at the Monarch batters, "isn't it illegal to throw pitches so high" one Monarchs asked. The pitcher seemed to have a repertoire that limited Monarch batters to several infield hits; Yet their power allowed them to escape the infield. With seven runs of their own the Monarchs were back on top with a 8-7 lead.

However, the bottom of the second brought more of the same for the Monarchs. Again the team was hampered by several key mistakes that helped the Mustangs record another 4 runs. "Dropped fly's, call-offs, missed balls, we were beating ourselves" Brad Dingle recalls. However the Monarchs seemed to have more resolve than expected on a night when they could have easily rolled over and died. The Monarchs showed their league best defence and limited the Mustangs to only 2 more runs in the final five innings. "We just put one solid inning together with another, and another" Travis Dingle said. The Mustangs despite a hot start would only be able to record 13 runs in seven innings, a record allowed against the Monarchs this season.

It was gut-check time when the defence came through. Inspired by her 'cute' new cleats SS Amanda Sturies recorded a clutch unassisted double play after fielding a roller into the SS area tagging up on second base and sending a laser to first ahead of the runner. Brad Dingle saved the game in the bottom of the seventh with a diving catch to record the first out, Jamie Sabid turned another DP in a later inning, Chan found his grove on the mount and the Monarchs began to fire on all cylinders. The defence made the adjustments that they had to make to shut down the Mustang offence, an offence that had recorded 61 runs in their four previous games. One key decision was to shift the Rover into a shallow LF position, "We noticed that they weren't hitting with a lot of power, and many of their hits were dropping in so we shifted the rover" said LF Travis Dingle. The moved seemed to pay off as the Rover was in position to stop many balls from 'getting too deep' and stopped base runners on first.

The Monarchs bats also came alive. There was clutch hitting up and down the order anchored by an impressive outing by the lady Monarchs. Missing from the line-up was Alicia Kurach, in her absence Amanda Sturies, Erin Melanson, and Fran Hughston batted in a rotation through the four female batter spots. "I remember thinking "Oh, DJ has to bat with two outs, tough position to be in" then two batters later I was up" Sturies said speaking about the big seventh inning by Monarch batters.

Coming into the bottom of the seventh inning the Monarch found themselves tailing 13-10 and in need of three runs to tie the game forcing a bottom half of the inning; however, the Monarchs got more than three runs, recording six enroute to a 16-13 lead heading into the bottom half. "The offence came up big when it had to" 1B Erin 'Melly' Melanson boasts. The Monarchs batted masterfully through their line-up scoring six runs, one highlight was a pull by Brad Dingle just past the 1B for the Mustangs scoring a couple of Monarchs.

The Monarchs climbed to 3-1 with the victory and should find themselves in third fourth place this week, however, this is not true representation of the Monarchs as they have a game in hand over all of the higher ranking teams. The Monarchs have been lucky this season as their have been few injuries to speak of this season, it appears as though many of the players played for the ESSC Dodgeball Champion Team Gallo, and have avoided 'Monarch Thigh'. However, the first injury has creeped up on the Monarchs with Russell Loga being limited to DHing duties with what the organization is calling an 'upper body injury'.

The editor would like to apologise to everyone out in 'Monarch Land' for the delay in recapping last nights game. The delay was cause due to the writer having to postpone the recap as he welcomed a new member to the Monarch family. We at Monarch head office would like you all to know the new member is alert and properly working inside 'Dingle Apartment'. I would like to introduce to you all to Mr. Airconditioner-tron.

Isn't he wonderful, a little rotund I guess!

The Simon Chan Show Rolls Through The TRIPOUTS!

2008-05-22T15:33:00.003-06:00

The mighty Monarchs arrived early to the ballpark Tuesday in anticipation for their game against the TRIPOUTS and also to work through some fundamentals after losing in extra innings the previous week. "They came up with a phantom run," Monarch pitcher Simon Chan states, "we were winning by one run at the end of the game until they conjured a tie!" However, other members of the Monarchs had different theories, "maybe if we had a captain that wasn't intimidated" said RF Sean Lam stated. Yes that's right, the Monarchs fell to 1-1 last week as Chan failed to assert his legendary 'I wrote my thesis on baseball' attitude against the Friar's Club. The lost dropped the Monarchs to third in the standings while the victorious Friar's Club vaulted to the top of the standings. Chan took a good ribbing before the game for his lack of backbone. However, the team was really looking to light a fire under the second year Monarch.

The pre-game tactic seemed work but not only on Chan but the whole team, although Chan wouldn't admit it. "I was soooo good! In one inning this girl was crowding the plate, so I threw inside at her. It was a strike right on the back corner of the mat. The next pitch she was standing away from the plate, obviously shaken from my legendary insider sinker, so I dropped one outside at the top corner. I'm so good!" Chan bragged to the reporters.

The real story to the game was not the Monarchs lack of offense but a five-star defence. The TRIPOUTS, while not looking like a insurmountable challenge, played very well. The outfielders tracked balls well and the infield swallowed balls up. The mighty M's were only able to manage 4 runs heading into the seventh. However on several occasions the defence bailed out a struggling offence. The infield was clutch, moving very well to keep balls in front of them while the outfield caught the fly's and kept rollers in front of them. Although the TRIPOUTS recorded more hits than the Monarchs, their runners were often stranded on base. The defence played very well only allowing 1 run through six innings. The TRIPOUTS also had to face the self-claimed 'Ace' of the Monarchs, Simon Chan, who recorded multiple strikeouts and every struck out the side in one inning, a feat seldom seen in the ESSC.

The game seemed to be in hand as the innings rolled into the seventh. The Monarch defence had been lights out all night and only allowed a single run to cross home plate, scored on a base hit in the first inning, however, the Monarchs had difficulty putting the boots to the TRIPOUTS and allowing the game to get tied up in the final inning. "The totally cheated on their line-up. They sent all their guys to the plate" several Monarchs were heard telling one another after the game. A theory that seems to have a little bit of weight behind it as the TRIPOUTS appeared to send three consecutive guys to the plate on two different occasions, but regardless the Monarchs failed to put the team to bed as the TRIPOUTS scored three in the top of the seventh to tie the game at fours. Heading into the bottom of the seventh the Monarchs only needed one run to win the game. The Monarchs knew that they needed to score a victory to keep a chance at the championship game. "It would be tough to get there as a two loss team" said Brad Dingle.

The Monarchs felt confident that they could score the needed run and felt even better after lead off batter Sean Lam reached first base on a line dive up the middle. Following Lam in the batting order was Simon Chan-Bonds. "I read the pitch well. I was sitting on that one" Chan boasts. To his credit, Chan sent a rocket that evaded the outfielder and landed just yards from the home run line, a hit that allowed Lam to score uncontested and sent the Monarchs to a 5-4 win and a 2-1 record.

As a tribute to the greatness of Simon Chan's epic game, I've included a little treat for all the Monarchs out there. So without further adieu, Simon Chan playing the accordion!

2008-05-07T11:31:00.005-06:00

The Monarchs were finally able to take the field in the much anticipated opener to the season that is being dubbed "The Spring of Champions". Many members around the clubhouse feel that this team has exactly what it takes to be crowned champions come June. The team has seen some change compared to the 2007 edition of the club. With their two picks in the ESSC 2007 draft the Monarchs selected utility fielder Jamie Sabid and Fran Hughston, a base running expert. Team captain Simon Chan spoke about the two new additions to the club, "in Sabid we feel that we bring some swagger into the dugout. Sabid we expect will bring some style and maybe a couple of new bats to the team". The Monarchs selection of Fran Hughston was controversial since she was not a true draft pick. Last season Hughston played one game for the Monarchs in a try-out contract. However, the Monarchs had to draft Fran in order for her to follow the Monarchs over to the ESSC. The Monarchs split the 2007 season between the ESSC and the Edmonton Rec League. "We knew what we were getting in Fran when we selected her in the second round. Other teams were saying that we went off-the-board picking her but we've all seen how she thinks the game and her raw base running talent" Chan said. Joining newcomers Sabid and Hughston was the normal crew of Monarchs: Team Captain Simon Chan, Amanda Sturies, Travis Dingle, Erin Melanson, Sean Lam, Kevin Wong, Brad Dingle, DJ Robinson, and Russell Loga. Missing from the teams opener was Chris Dew (Concert that wasn't Mariah Carey), Alicia Kurach (Housecall outside of the Edmonton area), and Fran Hughston (Priority confusion). The Monarchs filled the missing lady spot by calling up Laura Reed from the Monarchs AAA farm team.

The Monarchs opponent Tuesday night was the Jayman MasterBUILT, the company's slo-pitch team. Prior to the game there was a general concern both on-field and off, as Travis Dingle, Erin Melanson, and Amanda Sturies were nowhere to be found just minutes before first pitch. However, inside the casually late vehicle Sturies had other concerns, "I don't care how late we were! I didn't want Monarch Thigh!" Sturies recalls. However the group of Monarchs arrived in time and Sturies was seen jogging down the foul lines with teammate DJ Robinson.

Both teams seemed content to play small ball through the first few innings of play. The teams would take turns scoring a run or two through the first three innings. At the end of three the score was 6-3 for the Jayman MasterBUILT. In the top of the fourth inning Sturies came off the bench saying 'This is the inning of the shortstop!' and ensured that she had a great inning. The Monarchs held the JMB to 0 runs the fourth and in the bottom of the inning fought back to take the lead scoring 4 in the bottom half of the fourth.

The Monarchs never looked back as their bats shook off the winters cobwebs. The Monarchs scored innings of 4, 1, and a Sixth inning mercy rule 7. The defensive play-of-the-game came on the final out of the night in the top of the Seventh. Amanda Sturies and Jamie Sabid switch position in the final inning. With two outs and the JMB in need of a serious 9 run rally, the batter blooped a hit into the shallow outfield. Sturies ran back and in a last effort reached out to grab the ball in the tip of her glove. A classic ice cream cone style catch the Loga described in great depth, "It was like the poo in my ass. You know half inside, half poking out". The Offensive play of the game happened in the top of the Fourth with Simon Chan standing at the plate. Chan hit a solid pitch that rocketed into the outfield and past the first fielder. The center fielder got to the ball quickly and sent it in, Chan wanting to get the first HR of the season rounded for home despite Amanda Sturies telling him to hold up at third, "He said 'fuck that' as he rounded the base", however if Chan hadn't stopped he was dead in the water. Before passing the Commitment Line, Chan threw on the breaks and tried to get back to third. The ball arrived before Chan so again he headed for home. In a defensive error the JMB catcher was nowhere to be found allowing Chan to easily score on the play. "I was going to head straight for home until I head Sean tell me 'Don't be a hero'. I mean that's what I always say."

The Fifth inning brought some controversy when a JMB batter rocketed a blast over the head of the unsuspecting LF Travis Dingle. Chan was heard on the play to say to the batter that this is a practice pitch. However, the batter heeded not this warning and crack a long ball to the outfield. Dingle ranged back but was unable to get the ball before it bounced off the wall and back to an awaiting Sean Lam. The runner was stranded on third and failed to score.

For their opening game the Monarchs looked very good. The outfielders, Brad Dingle, Sean Lam, Travis Dingle, Kevin Wong, and DJ Robinson, covered the field well. The right side of the outfield was much busier than the left but made several key outs. The infield, lead but Russell Loga, Amanda Sturies, Simon Chan, Erin Melanson and anchored by newcomers Jamie Sabid and Laura Reed, was exceptional as well. A couple of balls escaped up the middle to the Rover, however the infield kept most balls in front of them and threw out many runners. Russell Loga made a great play from third base accepting the relay throw from Sean Lam and sending it home to an awaiting Erin Melanson who recorded the out as she stood on home plate. "It was quite the masterful play by everyone involved. I only wish I had that type of arm strength! I am so jealous of Loga. And he's got the hair" was Simon Chan's only comment on the issue.

The Monarchs are expecting to be in around second place when the standings are released later this week and are also awaiting a updated version of the schedule in order to prepare for next weeks opponent.

Rain Out!

2008-05-01T13:26:00.003-06:00

After two straight weeks of rain-outs the mighty Monarchs hope to begin their journey this Tuesdays in a game yet to be announced. To this date the Edmonton Sport and Social Club has only release the schedule for the first two weeks of the season, both games being cancelled due to weather conditions. The cancellation means that the Monarchs will have to make-up these games at a later point.

However with the game being cancelled on Tuesday a few Monarchs were seen on the practice field in McGan Park in suburban Sherwood Park. Among the Monarchs was 2007 first round draft pick Jamie Sabid. Sabid is expected to play a major role on the team this year and holds the same expectations for himself, "I bought this new bat. It's pretty sweet, only 27 oz." Sabid told reporters. However he was outdone when Travis Dingle, Amanda Sturies, and Erin Melanson arrived with the Silencer, "Wow, this one is 26 oz.!" the rookie was overheard saying.

The team spent a couple of hours with batting practice, fielding drills and drinking a few beers. Rounding out the spring training group was Brad Dingle, "I've really been working on my sliding skills this year and am trying out a couple of new throwing techniques" he said. It was evident that Brad was working on something new when he attempted numerous sidearm, over the back, and even throwing straight out of the glove.

The practice was called early due to rain. However, even as the temperature dropped and the skies clouded over one Monarch fan joined the team on-field for a dream come true session. A neighborhood youngster named Brad ventured over to the field to shag a few fly balls with other members of the team in the outfield, "Quite the arm" said Sabid.

The Monarchs are excited to hopefully take the field for this weeks pending game. This should be the beginning to a very good season!

Welcome Back!

2008-04-03T09:04:00.001-07:00

Welcome back Monarchs!

One Night Only!

2007-06-18T11:04:00.000-06:00

Wow. I mean I always knew that Simon's 'people' were passionate about baseball but look at this. You should congratulate your cousins for such an innovative and passionate performance from all of us in the Monarch/Gallo family.

Speaking of passion, this is it. What we've all been working for. Now I'm not going to give you all some crazy pep talk cause we all know what we need to do. Tonight!

Nice Moves

2007-06-17T17:56:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow is Championship Monday! WOOT!

Team Toughness

2007-06-16T09:14:00.000-06:00

These are the type of jems we are going to need if we are going to intimidate the Free Swingers and be crowned champions on Monday. Hope everyone's weekend is going well.

And I said JEMS Russell but you could help us out too.

In case no one got that Russell is a jew. A big curly haired jew.

Something for your Friday! 4 Days to Go!

2007-06-15T09:39:00.001-06:00

Although the laughs are a plenty in this clip Monarch Management has imposed a no Alcohol and no 'funny business' curfew on the team for the duration of Championship weekend.

Enjoy

Field Of Dreams

2007-06-14T09:52:00.000-06:00

The stage is set. Grand Trunk #1. The opponents drawn. Monarchs Vs. Free Swingers.

The top two teams from the regular season will now have a chance to play for it all, this Monday June 18, 2007.

Monarchs Playoff News and Notes

2007-06-13T16:06:00.000-06:00

By Simon Chan

Mark Morris Returns, Explains Engagement

Making his first appearance at a team game since his off-field season-ending ankle injury was C/OF Mark Morris, who brought diehard Monarch fan Michael “Pickle” Finlayson to the game. Monarch team members were glad to see Morris make his return to the team, while media members were eager for details on his engagement to R Leslie Hierath.

“There was no way she could say no to my proposal after I explained why we should get married. I told her that my injury was a real eye-opener. My mortality became very evident – I’m not getting any younger. I look around the team, and we don’t have any future Monarchs to take over for this team down the road when we all retire, and I don’t see anyone else on this team making future Monarchs anytime soon, especially with Travis unwilling to pop the question to Amanda,” Morris said.

“Go to hell, Morris,” muttered C/OF Travis Dingle.

“And we can’t count on D.J. knocking anyone up since he’s busy giving The Shocker to random women around Edmonton,” Morris continued.

“I have yet to leave a woman unsatisfied,” OF D.J. Robinson confidently stated as he displayed The Shocker formation on his hand.

“So I told Leslie that to continue the Monarch legacy, we had to have kids. And I’m not having kids without getting married, so it was a natural progression to a proposal,” Morris explained.

“After I heard Mark’s thoughts about having some Monarch kids, there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to say yes,” Hierath said bubbly as she proudly displayed her new engagement ring. “I’m a team player – I would do anything to continue the Monarch legacy, and I plan on having many little Monarchs in the future.”

“I’m as much of a team player as Leslie is. Where the hell is my ring?!” SS/3B Amanda Sturies grumbled as she stormed off with a glum T. Dingle chasing after her.

Danger Zone

Spurred by the combination of Sturies and SS/3B Simon Chan being named “International Corner”, the Danger Twins have now dubbed the right side of the infield “The Danger Zone”.

The combination of 1B Alicia Kurach and 2B Erin Melanson provide a deadly combination of solid softball fundamentals, great communication, and a familiarity with one another unlike any duo seen on the softball diamonds of the ESSC.

“Just some friendly competition among GLATAG (Grove Ladies and Token Asian Guy),” 3B/SS Amanda Sturies said as she slipped some white powder into Melanson’s water bottle.

Brad Dingle Enters Rehab

Notable in his absence for the pivotal playoff game was C/OF Adam Dingle, while C/OF Brad Dingle is expected to miss next week’s pivotal championship game. No explanation was initially given for either absence, and the official box score listed A. Dingle as “Did Not Play – Personal Reasons”. When asked for further comment, team captain Bouchard issued a brief “No comment.”

However, an inside source who spoke on the condition of anonymity said their absence was related to B. Dingle’s newfound addiction to cigarettes, which was revealed in Week 4’s edition of Monarchs News and Notes. The source went on to say that Brad did not bring enough cigarettes on a recent camping trip to Crescent Falls and it culminated in an off-field incident where he was arrested. When confronted with the story, assistant captain OF Travis Dingle confirmed the rumor.

“Brad’s addiction to cigarettes has gotten progressively worse the last month, and it reached a breaking point on the camping trip,” T. Dingle said solemnly. “His desperation for cigarettes reached unimaginable depths on the trip, and it was clearly a cry for help. Therefore, Adam and I staged a Dingle intervention, and Adam tried to bring Brad to a rehab center. But Brad fought Adam’s efforts, and after a lead pipe, busted chair, bag of thumbtacks, and a greased up midget, police found Adam unconscious on the side of the road. We hope to have Adam back for the championship game, but are unsure at this point. Needless to say, our thoughts are with Adam through this difficult time.”

Travis was extremely reluctant to discuss the status of his brother Brad, and when asked exactly how desperate for cigarettes Brad had become, his response was a mystical, “Smokes suddenly had a lot more in common with cheeseburgers on the camping trip.”

When pressed about the status of Brad, T. Dingle explained his absence.

“I’m going to clear up all the rumors about Brad now, before the tabloids have a field day with it. After Brad was arrested for assaulting Adam, a judge put him in jail. But the sheriff decided to set him free and put him under house arrest, while allowing him to play in today’s playoff game. When the judge heard about this, he threw Brad back in jail, and that’s why he won’t be back for the championship game. It’s pretty much exactly like the Paris Hilton incident.”

The parallels to the Hilton incident are eerily similar, as Brad was crying hysterically throughout his return to the courtroom from his house in a police car, and when the judge ordered him back to jail for the championship game, he and even cried out, “Mom! It’s not fair!”

Redemption - Monarchs Off To Finals

2007-06-12T17:42:00.000-06:00

It is what they've wanted from the beginning. A shot at the title. And next Monday the upstart Monarchs will get that very chance.

It was a grueling seven inning affair but after the dust had settled the Monarchs were one step closer to their ultimate goal - the coveted Championship T-shirt and a place in the Hall of Champions on the ESSC website.

The Monarchs played what the team is calling their most complete game in the win against the Genuine Draughts. Combining terrific fielding with timely hitting the Monarchs were able to defeat the Genuine Draughts 11-8 at Kaskitayo Fieldhouse. The Monarchs came into the game with plenty to prove. Not only was this the Monarchs inaugural playoff match but also it was against the only team that managed to defeat the Monarchs. And since the Screwball defaulted the Monarchs had been at home resting, dressing its wounds, and sharpening its claws (although Monarchs don't exactly have claw the analogy is important for the emotion of the story).

But the layoff appeared to have an effect on the team as they were only able to score 1 run in the first inning. The offense appeared to show rust and the defense was not different. The first inning left the game at a 4-1 game for the Genuine Draughts. The first inning was over and Monarch spirits appeared to be down. The teams one fan/honourary Monarch-of-the-day 'Pickle' was surprised to see the team walking off the field after a disappointing first. But like the bear who is returning to a greening world in spring the Monarchs rubbed their eyes realized that it was now or never. In the top half of the second the Monarchs ventured into the grassy meadow and tore apart that young fawn. Feasting on its blood and recognizing that they are the kings of the forest. The Monarchs rolled to a inning limit of 7 runs and followed it up with a shutout in the second. The Monarchs were back and proudly stating, "YOU MAY TAKE AWAY OUR UNDEFEATED STREAK BUT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE OUR CHAMPIONSHIP!"

The game did become close toward the end and the Monarchs will have to learn not to let off the gas if they expect to end their season as champions next week. The Monarchs will be facing off against the winner of the 1 Vs 4 game but are expecting to face the Presidents Trophy winner Free Swingers.

The Monarchs had excellent and timely hitting by Simon Chan (1) hitting the team-lead first HR of the post-season and clutch hits by Amanda Sturies, spraying ball just beyond the reach of 3B everywhere, Leslie Hierath, dropping balls into the infield where no one could grab them. In the field there was no shortage of highlights. Travis Bouchard had an excellent inning at 2B making three consecutive outs, Erin Melanson and Alicia Kurach were instrumental in an inning ending 4-3-6 single out. Erin realizing that she was an ambiturner underhanded the ball to Alicia off first who then threw out the runner heading to second where Amanda Sturies was waiting. Brad Dingle made several big catches in the outfield, even calling off CF Bouchard once. Even Travis Dingle who was nursing a sore shoulder after dislocating it days earlier got into the action grabbing a ball from in front of home plate to throw out a runner heading to first. DJ Robinson made some big catches in the from LF and hurried the ball into the infield (I don't really recall what DJ did excellently but I guess that just means he didn't cost us the game like last time) and Chris Dew locked down the other corner just like DJ. Russell Loga was also instrumental in the game for the few inning he was available to the Monarchs. Source say he left early to go 'hang out with his kids in some field' whatever that means.

Let's All Class Up Our Mornings

2007-06-12T06:14:00.000-06:00

T-MINUS 6 Days to the ESSC Championship Game.
Stay classy Monarchs.

Post later today

Monarchs Take Page From Gallo's Playbook

2007-06-05T06:23:00.000-06:00

After a devastating week 6 loss, the first in team history, the mighty Monarchs spent the week soul searching and trying to figure out just what went wrong in a loss to the first place Genuine Draughts. Inevitably the answer was D.J. Robinson. So with the loss fresh in their minds the Monarchs were geared up and ready to go.

Facing losses from the line-up of captain Travis Bouchard and Bradley "Priscilla" Dingle to the Physically Unwilling To Perform list the team had it sights on the Screwballs and a big victory in order to exercise a few demons and launch themselves into the playoffs. Word from the clubhouse is that team captain Travis Bouchard and utility player Bradley "Bud the Spud" Dingle elected to play for the Monarchs hockey affiliate for conditioning. The two were reportedly crushed by the loss and decided that it hurt to bad to come back to the diamond so soon.

The rest of the team in Rocky Balboa montage like fashion spent the week in the weight room and fighting Siberian Wolves to get prepared.

"We really worked up a good sweat this week" said DJ Robinson, "I'd fight Drago too. Rocky is the man. So sweaty and tight bodied, I could just DIE!"

"Yeah DJ works pretty hard in between games this week" said stand-in captain Travis Dingle, "I think a little too hard sometimes. He's been acting kind of gay lately, maybe its just the sun getting to him"

However the bad news reached Monarch HQ a few hours before the first pitch was supposed to be thrown. The Screwballs had defaulted on the game due to what an ESSC spokesman was calling 'the-other-team-being-huge-scared-pussies'.

Next week the Monarchs head into the playoffs holding the #2 spot and should be looking to play the winner of the Genuine Draughts Vs. Free Swingers game last week. The winner was not available at press time.

Monarchs Make Short Work of Perfect Pitch

2007-05-23T09:13:00.000-06:00

In a game that could have been difficult for the 5-0 Monarchs with numerous members of the team were coming off a liver destroyer of a May Long Weekend and other coming off difficult sleeping situations (D.J. Robinson) the team was able to pull together for a shut out/mercy the now 0-5 Perfect Pitch.

The Monarchs made short work of the Perfect Pitch needing only four innings to put them away. After scoring a modest four runs in the first the team was able to single their way to innings of seven, four, and seven for a fourth inning final of 21-0. The team was able to hit a multitude of singles and doubles to advance baserunners and the offense was capped by a HR by Russell Loga (1).

Defensively the team was able to ride a big night from the infield and a big catch by CF Travis Bouchard.

The defensive highlight of the night did belong to SS Simon Chan when a screamer came off the bat of one of the numerous girls on Perfect Pitch. Chan having little time to react gave his best Michael Jordan impression leaping from his stationary postion to make a perfect 'Air Jordan' catch.

Monarchs Wake Up To Similar World

2007-05-17T10:01:00.000-06:00

The ESSC released its updated standings yesterday and the Monarchs found themselves in a similar postion: 3rd. With the Genuine Draughts and Free Swingers remaining perfect, the Monarchs remain in third in the standings but have begun to close the gap on the teams ahead of them.

The Free Swingers continue to hold onto the top spot in the Monday standings with a 4-0 record and a +51 differencial. The other two 4-0 teams are the Genuine Draughts (+48) and the Monarchs (+37). The upper echelon teams have also proven themselves as the class of the league with 4/4 spirit records.

Holding down fouth spot is the Salad Dodger (+49, 4/4). Nothing has changed in the top four standings from last week except for differencials.

However after the top four stalemate the standing become interesting and controversial. Making a huge jump from tenth place last week Rice lands in fifth spot. However their record must be questioned because they are 2-3 with a +18 and 5/5. This reporter believes a double score report is to blame but only the ESSC would really know what is going on.

After the controversial Rice standings are three teams in a deadlock for sixth place. This group includes one time champion the Moose Hammers. After beginning the season a perfect 2-0 the team has lost two straight games to fall to 2-2. Even worse their once proud differencial has now fallen to a pitiful 4. If this team wants to have a chance to even compete for the title they will need to run the table and have a few teams ahead of them collapse as well. But the Moose Hammers are not in the sixth spot; ahead of the Moose Hammers (+4, 4/4) are the Saint City Ballers (+6, 4/4). And below the Moose Hammers are Balls Deep in eighth (-3, 4/4).

Monday night also has four teams in the sub .500 category. The best of those teams are the 1-3 Mud Hens (-10, 4/4) and Screwballs (-55, 3/4). On a side note the Screwballs must lost a spirit point for the actions in their game last week.

Rounding out the standings, and yet to win, are the Perfect Pitch (0-4, -47, 3/4 ) and the other side of controversy team Short Stops (0-5, -98, 1/5). With only scoring 1 spirit point out of a possible 5 the Short Stops seem to be the leagues 'bad boys' or 'bad truck driving angry bitches' of the league but losing by 20 runs in almost every game will do that to a team.

Monarchs Week 4 News And Notes

2007-05-15T23:26:00.000-06:00

by Simon Chan

For the first time this season, no Monarchs were inflicted with the dreaded Monarch Thigh. SS/3B Amanda Sturies was especially delighted with being able to avoid Monarch Thigh for the first time all season, but also seemed to take too much pleasure in watching a member of the opposing team go down with the same injury.

“I’m good to go – no Monarch Thigh tonight! That guy on the other team who needs a pinch runner totally has Monarch Thigh though,” she said repeatedly with a slightly twisted grin.

The team was also glad to see C/OF Adam Dingle return after a one game absence with what was initially diagnosed as a vaginal sprain. However, it was learned that the vaginal sprain had had a cascade effect and led to a rectal sprain, which resulted in an upset stomach. This was easily explained by both Sturies and 2B Erin Melanson.

“Erin and I were taught at our Catholic high school that it’s possible for all those tubes inside to get crossed up. That’s probably what happened here,” Sturies said.

“Yeah, and we know that a Catholic school would never lie about something like that,” Melanson added.

The Monarchs were still stricken with injuries however, as 1B Alicia Kurach was struck with the ball following a bad bounce off an errant throw from OF Chris Dew that left her day-to-day with a knee contusion. Kurach said that she expects to play in next week’s game and would take proper precautions during the upcoming week.

“I think it’ll be fine in a week as long as I don’t aggravate it,” Kurach stated confidently. “I currently have no plans to be on my knees this week.”

The team also learned prior to the game that two-sport star C/OF Mark Morris suffered a severe ankle injury suffered during a Gaelic football game and could be lost for the season. R Leslie Hierath also missed the game as she faithfully stayed by Morris’ side. Team Captain OF Travis Bouchard said that it was a double-edged sword having so many two-sport athletes on the team.

“Well, this is the risk you take when you have so much raw athletic talent on the team. On the one hand, that’s why we’re such a great team – this team just screams athletic ability, not to mention sex appeal,” Bouchard said. “But on the other hand, because our team is so skilled, they’re able to carry that over to other sports. We’ve got so many people who play other sports – Gaelic football, soccer, dodgeball, volleyball, ball hockey, and my specialty, athletic babymaking – that our risk of injury is naturally higher.”

New Team Jerseys
The Monarchs debuted their new team jerseys during their Week 4 game, a beautiful combination of black and white trim with the red Monarch logo on the front and the player’s number on the back, all of which is based on a yellow background. SS/3B Simon Chan was especially pleased with the new yellow jerseys.

“These jerseys are gorgeous! Even better, with these yellow jerseys, we look like a team of Asians. You can barely tell I’m the token Asian guy.”

Dingle Trifecta Makes an Appearance
For the first time in the history of ESSC slo-pitch softball, all three Dingle brothers played together in the same game.

“That was truly a special moment,” C/OF Brad Dingle said after the game. “The combined powers of the Dingle Trifecta is something to behold. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we easily won the game. In fact, I’m surprised that the ESSC even lets three men the caliber of the Dingle Trifecta play together in the same game. You figure that would exceed the awesomeness limit for a team.”

However, the special moment did not last long because the revelation that B. Dingle had taken up smoking again quickly led to disharmony among the Dingle Trifecta. Other team members were noticeably silent as they hoped the issue would be resolved by next week without ruining team chemistry.

More Team Building
Following the resounding success of the “Bomb-fire” team building activity the previous Friday, assistant captain OF Travis Dingle announced a second team building activity. Various team members will be camping this upcoming weekend, but one team member remained confused.

“I don’t get the attraction of camping. I just don’t understand it. Sometimes, white people are weird,” Chan said.

Defensive Alignments Gain Nicknames
The Monarchs unveiled a new defensive alignment following the return of Kurach, Dew, and A. Dingle, and the absence of Morris and Hierath. In the infield, it was the surehanded Danger Twins womanning the right side of the infield, while Chan and Sturies alternated between SS and 3B to confuse the opposition. Teams have dubbed the left side of the infield “International Corner”, but some media have also began calling the entire infield “Grove Ladies And Token Asian Guy”, or GLATAG for short.

The Dingle brothers, Bouchard, Dew, and OF D.J Robinson combined to form a spectacular four man outfield, eschewing the traditional rover position. Not to be outdone after hearing of the infield’s nickname, Robinson and Dew could be heard settling on “The Male Whitewash” as the outfield’s nickname.

Return of the Love Muscle
Female Monarch fans were delighted to hear that departed 3B Russell Loga would be returning to the team for a short three game stint at the end of the season. Tickets have quickly been snapped up for these games as anticipation for the return of the “Love Muscle” builds. The reason for his return is sure to win even more female fans over.

“I heard how all my fans were disappointed with me leaving the team. They made me what I am today, so I had to come back,” Loga said in an emotional press conference announcing his return. “I also heard that some women were so upset, they resorted to hitting their children. If my return could prevent child abuse, I had no choice but to come back. Really, it’s all about the children. I’m doing it for the kids.”

Melanson’s Silent Protest
The feud between team management and Melanson escalated from the previous week. Although the Danger Twins have reconciled, tension between team management and Melanson boiled over in the Week 4 game. In an act of defiance that she blamed on her volleyball practice after the game, Melanson staged a silent protest by refusing to don her trademark pink hat that had become a favorite of Monarch fans.

“I have a volleyball practice after the game,” Melanson said. When questioned why she could not take the hat off after the game, Melanson became evasive. “I just didn’t feel comfortable wearing it. I haven’t broken any team rules, so I’m not sure why you’re asking me these questions. This was a one game thing. I can wear whatever I want. But you just tell the fans to not worry – I’ll wear the pink hat next week. Next week, I’m bringing sexy back.”

Monarchs Dig Deep against Mud Hen to Stay Perfect

2007-05-15T10:37:00.000-06:00

Despite learning minutes before the game that the Monarchs had potentially lost All-Star C Mark Morris for the year the team was able to colect themselves and take to the field for their game against the Mud Hens Monday night. And facing a team with a -4 differencial and a 1-2 record the Monarchs were able to propel themselves to victory with a season high 3 HR effort by the offense and hot gloves by the defense. Plus they team was looking hot sporting their new Athletic Knit jerseys!

The team has send C Mark Morris to see a specialist in Cuba in a last ditch effort to get catcher back in time for the playoffs however the outlook right now is cloudy. Officially Mark has been placed on the 15-day. Also missing from last night's line-up, excluding hold-outs Jeff Beaton, Steve Shaw and Kristen Poohkay, were Leslie Hierath and Russell Loga. While the return of Loga is not expected for another few weeks, Hierath was missing for last nights line-up in order to be with injured Monarch Mark Morris.

With all of these players missing however the Monarchs were able to field a very competitive team. Last night all three Dingle's took to the field and the Danger Twins were reunited (and it felt so good).

The Mud Hens did an excellent job all night dropping the ball into the holes in the defence, which debuted its four outfielder shift, but the Monarchs were also solid defensively counting on big catches by RF Chris Dew and 2B Erin Melanson. The infield was also anchored by big throws from 3B/SS Simon Chan, and SS/3B Amanda Sturies. 'International Corner' as the team are calling the Italian and Chinaman duo made smart plays all night with big catches, big outs, and great teamwork. The Monarchs were also pleased to get its first out from the C position. And for all you trivia fans out there the correct answer to 'who got the Monarchs first out as a catcher?'-Brad Dingle.

In the outfield RF Chris Dew was the rock even though the team often left him on an island by himself. But also R Travis Dingle had a big catch and LF D.J. Robinson showed off his big arm often making precision throws into the infield to stop runners. Also in the outfield last night was CF Adam Dingle who was solid defensively, so solid he could even defend the reason it took him an hour to get to post game beers.

Rounding out the defence was team captain Travis Bouchard. Although he only recorded one out defensively at 3B he moved around thoughout the game almost playing every postion. Bringing instant strength to that area of the field.

Offensively the HR race heated up with a big 2 HR game by Simon Chan (3), and a 1 HR game from Travis Dingle (3), and Brad Dingle (1) getting his first. The Monarchs used timely hitting by all of their players and mixed up the long ball with a helping of small ball. The team scored runs in all of their innings and the team also showed killer instict after tying the game to never look back. Although there were no 'infield fly' disputes or slides into second the offense was still plenty exciting for the teams only spectator Ryan 'Redlight' Robinson.

This game also marked the first week inwhich there were no verbal disputes with the other team. Both teams played well and played hard. Although one fiery Italian, not to be named, did tell the Mud Hens firstbase player to 'F' off, (although she used the full word but parent read this and I intend to uphold some journalistic integrity).

Next week the Monarchs have thier home-opener against the Perfect Pitch @Malmo fieldhouse (115 st - 48 ave)

Monarchs Hold 1st Official Bomb-fire

2007-05-13T17:55:00.000-06:00

For some the night lasted until 5 am while others called it a night passing out on the couch early (Mark Morris). But in between it all there were plenty of beers drank, Smokies cooked, and songs sung.

The select members of the expansion Monarchs took some time off this weekend in order to relax kick back and get DRUNK! And although there was no late night Pizza 73 or Sam Wok the night had plenty of good times. One reporter began his night with a dozen Pilsner but in the morning once we stumbled out of Marks basement there was only one remaining (which I will enjoy as I write this).

The night began for many by watching the Uniform Debut video which allowed them to receive their official team issue jersey. Brad Dingle even partied in his all night long, giving it an authentic smell for tomorrows game.

Other highlights include the beer can toss. Being that we were outside the game consisted of one person finishing their beer. Upon tasting the final delicious drops of beer that player would attempt to toss their beer can into the recycle bin. If successful everyone else at the gathering would have to finish their drink. Both Russell Loga, who shall be returning from his stint with the men's soccer team in a few weeks to rejoin the mighty Monarchs, and Travis Dingle successfully tossed their cans even though they were the two furthest people away. Travis Bouchard rimmed out and other were close.

As the cases got lighter and the night colder the acoustic guitar made an appearance at the evenings festivities. Bouchard, T. Dingle, and B. Dingle took turns singing but only Bouchard had any real talent.

The guitar was a welcome addition to the party held at Mark Morris' house. Simon Chan listened closely as he dreamt of meeting personal rock and roll idol William Hung and Erin Melanson help sing to the cover tunes provided by Bouchard. On a side note you can look for Brad Dingle's new single "I've never met a WOP that doesn't like cheese" to be hitting the airwaves any day now.

The last exciting had-to-be-there moment occurred when the group decided to play 'Totally Truthful Text Messaging'. This is a new game expected to sweep the nation. Basically in a social function if you get a text you have to read it aloud. Although Amanda Sturies was reluctant to step into the childish antics instead choosing to drink and disappear away to somewhere Simon Chan and Leslie Hierath picked up her slack. Leslie announced to the party that 'I am so horny I would suck off a mule right now' while Chan replied with 'Gosh, I could go for a rice bowl right now".

Here are some pictures from Friday nights bomb-fire. Some pictures I was unable to get since they are on a certain website that I shall not deal with but the pictures could make an appearance here if they are sent to me.

UNIFORM DEBUT

2007-05-11T18:19:00.001-06:00

Monarchs Drop to 3rd in Standings

2007-05-10T10:10:00.000-06:00

Despite a perfect 3-0 record and a victory over last summer Rec B champion Moose Hammers the Monarchs have fallen to third in the standings.

Ther reason for the Monarchs setback was Mercy victories by the Free Swingers over the Short Stops and the Genuine Draughts defeat of the Screwballs. Both of these teams are now tied atop the standings with 3-0 records including +43 differencials and perfect spirit at 3/3. The Monarchs round out the perfect 3-0 teams with a +31 and 3/3.

In second place are three 2-1 teams: Salad Dodgers (+29, 3/3), Moose Hammers (+12, 3/3), and Balls Deep (+2, 3/3). In this group is the former champion Moose Hammers that fall from a tie for first to fifth place by losing to the Monarchs. The team has some big bats but there are questions whether they have the finesse to repeat last years results.

In third are three 1-2 teams: Mud Hens (-4, 3/3), Saint City Ballers (-14, 3/3), and Screwballs (-35, 3/3). The Saint City Ballers gained their first win of the season over Rice and are looking to make a run to the .500 mark this week.

Rounding out the league are three 0-3 teams: Rice (-22, 3/3), Perfect Pitch (-27, 2/3), and Short Stops (-58, 1/3).

Monarchs Post-Games News and Notes - WEEK 3

2007-05-08T13:35:00.000-06:00

By: Simon Chan
Post-Game Press Conference
At the post-game press conference, team captain CF Travis Bouchard said he was pleased with his team’s performance in their latest win.

“We really played hard out there. I was proud of our team’s performance, especially as things got more intense in the later innings. We weren’t at our best and not everyone was healthy but we still found a way to win. We just dug deep, gave 110%, followed the game plan, and left it all on the field,” Bouchard said as he flipped through a copy of Ryan Smyth’s Favorite Overused Clichés: 2nd Edition.

Injury Report
The Monarchs were once again riddled with injuries as numerous players were hurt during the game, which exacerbated an already thin lineup.

Both C/OF D.J. Robinson and SS Amanda Sturies aggravated their “Monarch Thigh” injuries from last week, but managed to stay in the game. R Leslie Hierath was more seriously injured with the Monarch Thigh, but after a pep talk from C/OF Mark Morris, heroically took the field as the Monarchs were without any girl substitutes for the game.

“It was unbelievable how she toughed it out,” Morris said of Hierath. “I always knew she had a big heart, and now the whole world knows too.”

Team management is concerned with the spate of Monarch Thigh injuries, and is thinking of using 1B/OF Chris Dew as the team’s fitness trainer.

“Chris’ vast experience in the art of pre-game lunging would be invaluable in preventing future Monarch Thigh injuries,” Bouchard said after the game. “We are seriously thinking of implementing a pre-game stretching routing for the team, and Chris’ considerable familiarity with pre-game lunging as a member of the world-renowned Team Gallo is definitely something worth considering.”

SS/3B Simon Chan was pleased to announce that after a post-game examination, his track pants had a little wear and tear after his daring slide into second base, but would be alright. The same could also be said for his body.

“The track pants are OK, I’m happy to say. I’ll be able to wear these again. These pants and I, we’ve been through a lot. My upper leg actually took the brunt of it. After an examination with Dr. Lookinmirror, I was diagnosed with a swollen right buttcheek that will be sore for a couple of days. I’m hopeful that at our team meeting on Friday, one of the pretty ladies on our team will massage it for me. If not, I guess I’d settle for a Dingle brother. All in the name of physical therapy, naturally.”

No Dingle Trifecta
For the third week in a row, the Monarchs were not able to field all three Dingles, as OF Adam Dingle missed the game with a vaginal sprain, possibly due to excessive overuse. The anticipation of the “Dingle Trifecta”, as they are being called, has reached almost mythical proportions.

“Nobody can really comprehend the power of the Dingle Trifectauntil you’ve been around it like I have,” Sturies said. “It’s overwhelming. A year ago, I went to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well and was diagnosed with Dingleitis. I was told by the doctor that it was a new medical term to describe overexposure to the Dingles.”

Love Muscle Pulled
Monarch fans were upset to hear of the defection of two-sport athlete 3B Russell “The Love Muscle” Loga to an Edmonton men’s league soccer league. In particular, the strong female fanbase that Loga had developed over the first two games was disappointed by his departure. One specific female fan was so distraught at the game, she was seen hitting her young son with a slap upside the head as she realized that Loga would not be playing.

“I was just taking out my frustrations,” the muumuu lady said. “I was looking forward to seeing Loga in his hot 80s pants, especially with the great view of the field from where I was sitting.”

Bouchard was confident that the female fanbase would remain loyal to the Monarchs, however.

“Despite the loss of ‘The Love Muscle’, I believe we have some solid male eye candy on the team. And let’s not forget, we’ve still got the pythons,” Bouchard said as he lovingly kissed his right biceps.

Dew Debut
The game against the Moose Hammers also featured the debut of 1B/OF Chris Dew. He is a notorious lady’s man, as assistant captain 1B/OF Travis Dingle noted.

“We are essentially replacing ‘Hussy’ with Chris. While we are sad to see Russell leave, we all know Chris’ reputation with women, and Bouchard and I are confident that we will retain our strong female following,” Dingle said. “Do you think it’s any coincidence that in Chris’ first game, we found a pair of panties on the field before the game? I always knew that Chris liked to do lunges as a warmup before games, but I guess he took it to a whole new level.”

When asked if he knew how the mysterious panties wound up on the field, Chris grinned and said, “No comment.”

Danger Twins Split?
Notable in her absence during the Monarchs’ Week 3 game was 1B Alicia Kurach. While rumors were swirling that she was distraught from the departure of Loga from the team, the real truth was revealed by Bouchard after the game. Despite tremendous support for the noticeable leg kick in her swing, Captain Bouchard overruled everyone on the team and sent Alicia to see his hitting coach.

“I sent Alicia to see my hitting coach in Victoria. Her leg kick was just too much of a distraction for me, especially since I usually hit after her. When I see that legkick while I have my bat in my hands and I’m right behind her, it’s too much for me to handle and I can’t perform up to expectations.”

Kurach’s Danger Twin, 2B Erin Melanson, became upset as word spread of the preferential treatment that Kurach was receiving at the hands of Bouchard. She immediately threatened to sit out next week’s game due to a volleyball practice, despite the fact that the practice begins at 8:30. An unnamed source within the Monarchs organization said Melanson had a meeting with team management where she expressed her displeasure at being slighted, and demanded that she receive a second pair of sunglasses to compliment the fashionable look she has on the field.

“I just want the team to look good,” Melanson could be heard muttering to herself after emerging from a lengthy meeting with team officials.

Monarchs Rally to Defeat Moose Hammer

2007-05-07T22:39:00.000-06:00

As the rain began to fall harder than a mother's slap to the back of a small child's head in the seventh and final inning of Monday nights ESSC Rec League game the two teams that had taken to the field knew that there could only be one winner. The defending champion Moose Hammers felt good about their chances knowing that their MVP slugger was coming to the plate but the Monarchs knew that despite a jittery defense they would prevail. The Monarchs held a five run lead heading into the seventh and when the Moose Hammers responded with and RBI single and a 3 run HR the Monarchs knew it was now or never. The Moose Hammer followed the HR with a single and with man on and a crack of the bat the game was over.

When the dust had settled the final out rested in the glove of 3B Simon "Mr. Baseball" Chan and the Monarchs had defeated the defending Rec B champion Moose Hammers by a final score of 23-22.

The victory was not without difficulty for the 3-0 Monarchs. The team has yet to field a full squad still missing the services of rookie holdouts Steve Shaw and Kristen Pookay and it appears that management and the rookies will not be able to come together on a contract for this season and utility fielder Jeff Beaton has yet to report to the team despite rumors that he would be making his Monarchs debut tonight. On the positive side OF/1B Chris Dew made his debut for the Monarchs tonight helping them offensively with his bat and also defensively in the field.

The team did have most of its player out for the game against the Moose Hammers only missing OF Adam Dingle who has been placed to the 7 day DL with what the team is calling a vaginal sprain. Although their has been quiet rumblings that he may have commitments elsewhere and may be traded off the team. Also missing from tonight's line-up was 3B Russell Loga. The team was devasted to learn that the son of former 'Bop-a-Wop' all-star Veneranda Espostito, daughter of NHL hall-of-fame goalie Tony Esposito, was traded to an unnamed Edmonton men's league soccer team for a yet-to-be determined player.

Returning to the line-up against the Moose Hammers was defensive stalwart SS Amanda Sturies. After an enduring week of physiotherapy Sturies was able to return to the line-up. Her presence in the middle infield was a much needed addition to the team and was crucial to securing the win.

The injury that both Sturies and OF D.J. Robinson suffered against the Short Stops last week made its way back through the line-up when R Leslie Hierath went down in the first and Robinson and Sturies both tweaked the injury that is know simply known as "Monarch Thigh". All three saw limited action tonight but were seen leaving the field with a hobble. Hierath was effected the most by the injury having 2B Erin Melanson pinch run for her throughout the game.

The victory was important for the Monarchs not only because it kept them at a perfect 3-0 but because the young Monarchs were able to make the adjustments necessary to defeat the Moose Hammers. After numerous innings of trying to smash HR and failing, with the exception of 1B/OF Travis Dingle(2), CF Travis Bouchard (1), the team converted to playing small ball settling with loopers and liners into the shallow outfield. The change in the offensive gameplan was enough to eek out a one run victory. The team could have used a HR from big hitting 3B Chan but perhaps the asian phenom was more of a flash-in-the-pan.

The Monarchs are not just a slick offensive juggernaut but are developing a mean streak. This week it was Simon "Double Thesis" Chan getting into a verbal debate against "25 years of umpiring". In the fifth inning "Old Man Rules" removed himself from third base to argue a call against Chan. After a five minute face-to-face debate Chan saved the Monarchs an out with his masterful use of the 'double thesis' defense and "Mr. You Can't Use That Fastball Bat, What Are We Playing Soccer?" was forced to return to the field of play tail between his legs.

Next week the Monarchs face the Mud Hens @ Grand Trunk #1. The game is of special significance as the Monarchs are expected to debut their next generation Athletic Knit jerseys.

ESSC Releases Season Schedule

2007-05-04T15:57:00.000-06:00

In a surprise move that was not expected until Saturday, the ESSC released its full spring schedule. The schedule sees the Monarchs play their five games on the road before closing out the season with a three game homestand.

While season ticketholders may not be very happy with a 5:3 ratio of away/home games they will get to see top talent.

The schedule that was release is very interesting for the expansion Monarchs and the schedulers at the ESSC did not hesitate to give the young team must-win games in early May.

In just the third week of the season the Monarchs look to be the game of the week facing off against the former Rec league champ Moose Hammers. The game is expected to draw a circus of media attention and could be a preview to the Rec Championship game.

The Monarchs will need to stay sharp as a few weeks after facing one former Rec champ they will have to take on another, the Genuine Draughts, in the second to last home game of the year. The Monarchs have also chosen this to be fan appreciation night for their dedicated fanbase because it is a marquee match-up and also the second of three home dates.

If the Monarchs are able to run the table they truly will be the team to beat heading into the June 11 playoffs.

Monarchs Migrate to Top of Monday Rec Standings

2007-05-03T17:27:00.000-06:00

Entering Monday the Monarchs were a mediocre 6th place in the standings but with the crushing defeat of the Short Stops, now in 12th, they have vaulted themselves to the top of the standings.

The Monarchs have lifted themselves above the other Monday Rec teams with a perfect 2-0 record and victorys of +10 and +20, a mercy victory by ESSC rules.

With their lead in the standings the Monarchs have truly proven themselves taking an early lead over the 2006 Rec A champion Genuine Droughts and 2006 Rec B champion Moose Hammers.

While the Monarchs, Genuine Droughts, Moose Hammers, and Free Swingers all hold identical 2-0 records it is the big bats of the Monarchs that give them the edge over the other top teams.

Sitting in the middle of the order are four 1-1 teams: Salad Dodgers, Mud Hens, Balls Deep, and Screwballs.

The division is rounded out by the four 0-2 teams: Rice, Saint City Ballers, Perfect Pitch, and Short Stops.

The sportsmanship seems to be at a high level also with all teams, with the exceptions of the Perfect Pitch and Shorts Stops, holding 2 of a possible 2 spirit points.

Monarchs Overcome Injuries to Beat Short Stops

2007-04-30T22:17:00.000-06:00

The Monarchs continued their chances at the perfect season improving to a 2-0 record with a 24-4 victory over the Short Stops. Although the team suffered injuries in the first few innings from SS Amanda Sturies and LF D.J. Robinson, the teams offence was able to pick the team up despite having a few difficulties in the field.

The Monarchs' offence was powered by homeruns by Travis Dingle (1) and Simon "Ichiro" Chan (1) in the victory and many believed the turning point in the game to be a heart and soul sprint to first base by Leslie Hierath ending in a photo-finish slide to keep the inning alive. The Monarchs were able to score seven runs in three consecutive innings in order to close out the Short Stops. Once the Monarchs offence sparked in the third inning there was no looking back. The high powered Monarchs closed out the Short Stops, a team seeking some chemistry in back to back loses of a combined 51-11, in the fifth inning after registering the maximum seven runs on a Chan three person home run.

The Monarchs were not without a few problems however. After capping the score with a 20 run differencial the defence allowed 7 runs to the Short Stops in the sixth on sloppy defensive play. The team believes that these defensive errors will shore up once the team gets more innings under their belts.

With an already short bench missing the power of CF Travis Bouchard and special ability of LF Priscilla Ivana LaDouche, the Monarchs were forced to deal with a devastating lose of SS Amanda Sturies. Sturies suffered a thigh injury in the bottom of the first inning forcing her to leave the game and cheer from the sidelines. The loss of Sturies left the team with the manditory nine players and when D.J. Robinson suffered a leg injury in the second the team was forced to shift the defence and move Robinson behind the plate and C Mark Morris to LF.

Coming off a 23-13 victory over Rice the Monarchs proved that their offence is more than a Mom and Pop show and is truly something to be feared as the temperature warm up and the day run longer.

The game was one-sided and the Monarchs proved that they are the class of the league with excellent performances by the Danger Twins, Alicia Kurach and Erin Melanson, working together like they had been playing together for years at 1B and 2B. On the other side of the infield was the flashy combination of 3B Russell Loga and SS Simon Chan. Everytime the ball was hit to this side of the field the crowd roared in excitement knowing that a spectacular bare-hander or glove pass was about to come. Rounding out the infield was C Mark Morris and injured C D.J. Robinson. The two split the duties behind the plate but had their work cut out for them as the Short Stops decided to play small-ball often hitting rollers between the catcher and the pitching mound. These two player did and excellent job controlling the action of the infield. Moving to the outfield the Monarchs were high in talent but low in action as the Short Stops were regularly hitting rollers to 2B or SS. However, when the ball was in the air the team knew that they could depend on RF Adam Dingle, CF Travis Dingle, LF D.J. Robinson, replacement RF Mark Morris and R Leslie Hierath.

Finally the team learned that they had plenty of heart as Robinson fought for his pride and for all that was right in rec league slo-pitch in numerous verbal tiffs with a certain member of the Short Stops only to be remembered as "Crazy Bandana Dog Lady". The wit and knowledge of the ESSC rules that Robinson showed will definately earn him a few more games in the Bigs.

Goodnight Now,
Travis Dingle